bismillahirahmaanirrahim....
ya allah jika aku jatuh cinta
cintakanlah aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya pada mu
agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk menyintaimu ya muhaimin

jika aku jatuh hati
izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padamu....
agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu
ya rabbana ,jika aku jatuh hati jagalah hatiku padanya
agar tidak berpaling daripada hatimu....

ya rabbul izzati jika aku rindu
rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalanmu...
ya allah,jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihmu janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan
indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirmu ya allah,
jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihmu janganlah biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam
perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadamu.....

ya allah jika kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihmu jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas..
sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadamu....


amin.....


wlupun bkn aq hasilkan... nis nak berkongsi ini pada semua.....:

oh choral speaking!!! hate u!!!

oh!!! i hope i can skip this...ireally hate doing such things...i never involve in this ever...n now..i HAVE TO??!!!
its stupid, for me...
no! its not stupid..but its embarrassing..or mybe not embarrasing..but creepy enough for me...more than go some places alone...><
i hate it but im in it now,,...
 well...im okeyh with it now..i think i can do it...

BUT, when it comes to the other problem...that is...i take the role as a CONDUCTOR!!! this is real stupid...><
even i dont have to look at the audience...but looking at my choral speaking member is enough to make me freak out...
this mybe look normal for certain people...
but i CANT!!!
this isnt a game u can put me in...
i mean, its obvious that i cant do it..how could i raise my hand n drop it n raising it again n make some move with it or whatever...
oh Allah, please help me, guide me, n make me strong, give me strength.
can u imagine,  being in front of the crowd, where u r the only person, that is different from other n move ur hand backing them..??
i really cant do it...but ive been force to..><
its not that i cant speak english...its just that 'u faathimah, u be the conductor, u dont have to facing the audience..' What the heck?!
geezz...some people with their thoughts..fool others with the power in their hand...
mad at those who r already willing to do it...mad just bcoz she arguing,..or confuse or just 'no! no! no!' (but still...she has to do it...)
isnt it stupid...?
mybe for those who dont know the situation would just say 'coward lil girl' or smthing between...
but u r not in her shoes to say that...so u actually dont deserve to say anything...to condemn her...
u my thought u think abt her, but actually u didnt, u just thought abt others....><

maaf yea....mmg sy mcmnie...

hmmm...bkn soal xsuke atau x...
mgkin awk nmpk sy mcm nie, mcm tue..
tapi awk kne tahu...sy bkn sesorg yg boleh pndang sesorg atau bckp dgn mreka dgn pndgn scara tepat atau direct...
awk mgkin xtahu..sy mmg xbole..klau ad satu saat...sy akn trus pndg ke bwh..apabila kte btntg mata...
hmm..maaf klau awk terasa...tp sy mmg cmnie..
klau awk terasa, sy mmg mntk maaf..xkire la pmpuan laki...sume sama....
awk mgkin xsedar, awk mgkin bkn jenis yg memerhati atau peka...tp sy xbuat kat awk sorg jea...
awk terasa mgkin sbb awk dh biasa org perhatikn awk bila awk bsuara..
tp awk xsedar sy jenis mcm mne..awk trus tegur sy...
sy mmg xterasa tntg teguran tue...tp sy terasa sbb awk xknal diri sy...

kdg2 sy sedar..sy tahu, msti sesiapa pa terasa dgn sikap sy...even ckgu2 dulu jugak...tp..maaf yea ckgu2 n kwn2 skalian...klau bckp...sy susah nk tgok org...
sy lbeyh suka mngalih pndgn atau mnunduk kn pndgn..bkn kerana benci, tetapi, itu ialah cara sy nk fokus ap yg mrk katakan..cara sy mgmbarkn sesuatu..cara sy utk dgr lbeyh jelas...
awk tdk sedarkah...hal ini pnah dikatakan dulu?
..masa kite mula2 bkwn?
..masa sy buat awk sebegitu mula2?
..masa awk ttny2?

lae satu...mgkin awk tgok sy nie xbyk ckp, diam,...xpn..klau bckp, msti kasar bhasa ny n org kata 'otai'? aduuiii...><

manusia nie pnyai plbgai ragam, plbgai sifat, plbagai fikiran n plbgai tujuan...

nk bkomunikasi dgn mreka..kdg2 kne bhikmah, kne pnyai mse, kne tahu cara...

risau nnt, ad yg sakit hati, tk puas hati, syak wasangka,

r klau tlbeyh bkata2 t, byk salah, byk dosa...xpn timbul fitnah or kata2 lari dr fakta or kisah sbnar....

hmm..nie la masalah ny...krisauan yg mnybabkn lidah nie kurg bckp, kurg bkomunikasi, kurg bkata2..

bile jd mcm nie..org akn kata 'ad emas dlm mulut' or ap2 la..

tue xjd masalah...sy mmg xkisah..tp manusia sering tsalah anggap..

disbbkn masalah nie, sy tau...sy kdg2 xbleyh nk mnutur kn ayat atau kata2 yg lbeyh sopan...

coz kbnykn masa sy lbeyh byk mndengar dr bckp...tp bile mndgr, pn jd masalah juga..><

hmm...ble dfikirkn, sy mmg jarang bckp...even in family...trasa mcm xdpt seiring dgn ap yg dborakkan...

plus, sy mmg xad idea...

lbeyh byk mndgr dr bckp...

bckp hny ble plu n ble dminta pndpt...

ad suatu sy ketika sy petah bckp, itu mgkin bkn diri sy...mgkin sy tlalu obsess disuatu ketika..mgkin ketika itu, sy nmpk, awk bleyh jd pndgr baek sy...

sy rse haru, sdeyh atau kecil bile xad siape knal diri sy sbnrny...

wlaupn sbnrny, sy sndri xcube utk knal awk...(nie pn sbb sy rse sy xlayak..awk dh lbeyh rmai kwn, org yg knali awk lbeyh dr sy...)

maaf yea...ayat tbelit2...

klau xpham...maaf yea...

ble tckp pnjg, org xpham...ble ckp skit pn, xpham...

...karut je sy ni kn...hmmpp...:(